nightmare on 23rd street

as promised in my previous post, i will now tell you about my other special adventure on sunday:

one thing i have yet to mention in any of my posts is how incredibly special my neighborhood is. in fact, one of my favorite hobbies involves sitting on my front balcony and watching all of the interesting characters pass by, some of which happen to live right around me... "live" as in "among the living," unlike the two individuals i met on sunday. yes, that is what i said.

after breakfast, jace and i headed over to my next door neighbor's to see the fabulous vintage cruiser that she had just purchased at a garage sale earlier that day. since jessica didn't have a lock yet, it was currently being stored in the basement of the house... which i didn't even know existed.

until that day, i had been under the impression that this house, owned by the family that jessica nannies for, was split up into four units. but as we entered the basement i began to realize there was so much more than i thought, and it literally took me a couple minutes to really soak in the scene around me. there were books, videos, old cassette tapes, speakers, boxes... basically junk everywhere. according to jessica, all of it had been left by previous tenants over the years.

she then asked if we had seen the rooms. 'what rooms?" i asked as i looked around. she then proceeded to lead us toward a door. this door opened into what i can only describe as being an exact representation of what i picture when they talk about child molestors that kidnap kids and keep them in hidden rooms in their house. talk about getting the chills. there was even an old mattress propped up against the wall, which was almost touching the 6 foot high ceiling. she then lead us to another room... same creepy rape vibe. sick.

i would have pondered the strangeness of it all, but after walking out of the second room, i got distracted by a box of old videos. i immediately went from being creeped out to curious and began to rummage through some of the boxes. jace joined me, but after about five minutes, i was over it and ready to get the F out of there. as i was walking out, i turned to say something to jace and saw him digging into a box filled with tissue paper. he then pulled out an old wooden box, opened it and said to me, "cc, i think this is someone's ashes."

"EXCUSE ME?!" i shouted. "yeah, there is a rosary in here," he said. i was in complete shock. he then pulled out a second box and pointed out that it had a label on it. i couldn't help myself; i had to look. on a plain white label, in plain black font it read:

Bert Mojica
1994
Coloma Cremation Shoppe

that is when i really began to lose it and screamed out, "jessica!! there are dead people in your basement!!"

she came running up, eyes wide, hands in the air, screaming "WHAT!?"

"these boxes are filled with ashes," said jace, "and i think i just got some on my arm."

as i looked around for an appropriate place to vomit, jessica began screaming, "oh my god! there are yurns! yurns in the basement!" and yes, that was not a typo. apparently she thought that an urn was a yurn. which only made the moment more special.

i ran outside, breathed in the fresh air, and began to laugh. i couldn't stop. it was just all too hilarious. i mean, really? of course there are dead people stashed away in the basement of the house next to me. but the real question is, who is Bert Mojica, and why would someone ever leave behind the ashes of what i can only assume was their relative?

either way, i am still very creeped out. after all, i'm the girl that can't watch scary movies and has to cover her eyes at the sight of blood.... and cover her ears if she even thinks something scary is going to happen. it's just not my thing. i suppose now we have to figure out who this "Bert" is and get him and his anonymous partner, back to their family. otherwise they are bound to haunt that house, and possibly the surrounding neighborhood, forever. anyone heard of him?